32 – Ecuador – Milk

32 – Ecuador – Milk

February 2011

There are few greater disappointments here in Ecuador than the milk; across all of Latin America, really. Of course, it’s not their fault that my palate isn’t accustomed to its flavor profile. Somehow, they process or pasteurize it far differently than their neighbors to the north. It comes in small containers, oftentimes not refrigerated. Sometimes you’ll find it in bags but mostly in sealed carton-like boxes. And the kind that you find on the shelf un-refrigerated lasts forever. It’s unlike anything I’ve ever seen. Or tasted. No matter to me, however, ‘cause I don’t even drink the stuff.

Back at home I can down a tall cold glass of sweet-acidophilus milk in under a minute. Pair it with a double-stuffed Oreo and you’ve got a match made in heaven.

But such is life in another country and culture. I nearly got in to a shouting match with my host dad telling him that it tastes differently. I tried to explain that the pasteurization process must be different. He wasn’t having any of that. He told me right then and there that it was the same milk; same process. Never mind that he’s never had our milk in all its gallon glory; pasteurized to perfection.

Anyhow, it’s different. And I hardly ever drink it. Occasionally, if it’s hyped up on chocolate or loaded down with fresh fruits I’ll have a go.

My host family, however, can’t get enough. They love it so much that whenever a new calf is to be born they’ll set out at the crack of dawn for the few days before its birth and drink the mother’s milk like whiskey shots in a bar. Of course, first they lug it back to the house to boil whatever worms or disease carrying bugs are in the milk. They claim (and I must say – in all fairness – I believe them) that the mother’s milk at the time of birthing a calf is the healthiest time to drink its milk; chock full of vitamins and minerals for those first few days when a newborn is brought into the world. The nutrient rich milk in those first few days help a small calf get started off right. And so, they’ve applied this situation to themselves and like to drink that first milk in order to boost their immune system. In those few days before its birth, the calf, of course, is in the womb and isn’t able to drink the first milk so my host parents take part. They milk the plump udders and bring the milk back to the house where they boil it until it curdles a wretched curdle. Then they spice it up with a leaf of some sort and they down it like it’s the last bit of milk they’ll ever have. They have tried and tried – to no avail – to get me to have a sip. I’ve been pressured with all sorts of infirmities that could befall this young, feeble body of mine if I fail to drink up. But I don’t. And not because I don’t think it’d be good for me but because I just can’t bring myself to drink that curdled mess of milk with green leaves stuck in it.

In following with this tradition, many, many years ago my host grandmother had a light bulb moment. An idea of all ideas. Having recently given birth to one of her seventeen children she decided that if a cow’s first milk is full of nutrients then hers must be too. So, low and behold, she milked herself. She milked herself until she had enough that could be put in a glass and she boiled it to the curdle, added the green leaf and served it up to her husband who drunk it without a flinch. Her husband has since passed but she claims she never told him. I don’t think I would either.

The milk remedies don’t end there. One day after lunch we were sitting around the table, as we always do, chatting. My host dad was bogged down with bronchitis and had been taking a slew of pills. But pills weren’t always available here in rural Ecuador so they would concoct their own remedies to fight off sickness. I was thinking there was a grass they could make tea with that would suffice for a lung/bronchitis remedy. Maybe even an egg bath or something. But they claim, with unwavering conviction that if you want to rid yourself of bronchitis or any other mild lung problem then you should drink some dog’s milk. Yep. Find you a sagging dog running around and stick a spoon under its teets to get the needed remedy. I was even given a demonstration by my host mother using my host dad’s ear. She stuck a spoon under his ear lobe and milked it like she would a dog. I questioned their use of the dog’s milk but they claim it works like a charm.